Friday, December 3, 2010

Challenge Day 5

Today, I'm supposed to write about a time I thought about ending my own life.

I don't think I have ever seriously thought about it- I think I've thought about what it would mean if I died, what it would mean to my family if I were gone. I've wondered if anyone but my family would come to my funeral, but that's always been with the thought that I hope I'm not in a freak accident or something.

Of all the places in the world I could have been born, I was put in America. Of all the families out there I could have been put in, I was put with two loving parents; parents who always made me and my brother first in their lives. Of all the places I could have ended up, I ended up right where I am... able to hold a job, and go to college for free. I have the privilege of putting into other people's lives with volunteer work, and I have an absolutely astounding church family I treasure more than anything. I have few close friends, but many good acquaintances, and I have been blessed with a capable mind and many talents to boot.

Why would I give that up?

Especially because my life is not my own- it belongs to Someone else. He gets to decide when I join Him, not me. What a slap in the face to God it would be if I decided I knew better than Him when that time was. Ouch.

I think it's awful that people feel so sad and desperate with their lives that they feel they have no reason to live. That's tragic, but suicide is never the answer. In fact, it is an incredibly selfish thing to do. It doesn't just affect you; it affects the lives of your family and countless others around you. Yikes.

Anyway. I hope tomorrow's topic is a more positive one!

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