Saturday, July 17, 2010

A little note of encouragement

So tonight I was invited to 5 different places at once. My dad says to me, "well... if you time it just right, how many can you hit?" Haha. Love my dad.

Anyway, I go to the one that asked me first, because it's polite. And because I kind of had to, it was sort of a club meeting/ summer social for the Classics club at ASU.

We were supposed to watch Gladiator or 300, or something at least Classics related, but instead somehow we ended up watching Life of Bryan. I want my time back, it was so incredibly offensive. Granted, parts of it were hysterical, but on the whole it made me really uncomfortable.

And it hit me: yep, this is why I usually don't go places.

College kids. Tonight, conversation centered around drinking stories, racial jokes, and things like Harry Potter (which I haven't read btw) and movies I, you guessed it, haven't seen. Not to mention the whole conversation on music, where I hadn't heard a single song they were talking about, and therefore had absolutely nothing to contribute to the discussion.

So I don't have any drinking stories, because the only alcohol I've ever had was one sip of wine at Christmas two years ago (with my mom's permission, she was right there), and 4 sips of kosher wine this year at Passover, because, you know, that's part of it (Passover). But seriously folks, that's it. I don't turn 21 until December, and even when I do I'm not going to drink very much, if at all. I just don't like what it does to people.

I don't have any bad jokes either, because I don't think about things like that. Lascivious references were passed back and forth like 4th graders trading pokemon cards, and I had no clue as to what they were from. Most sexual innuendos I was totally in the dark on. I had no comment on the latest ribald movie.

Can you say... awkward?

I just don't have much to talk to people about. So I sit there quietly and uncomfortably, because I'm pretty much the only one not getting things and not laughing, and it's just awkward. I can't help it! I am who I am, and I'm not ashamed of it, but I feel bad for making others uncomfortable. They don't quite know what to make of me.

Oh well. I guess this is where I say I am what I am: totally naive about things.

But you know what?

It's ok.

That's right- it's ok.

I mean really, what am I supposed to do- go educate myself about these things so I can "fit in?" Read all the trendy magazines, watch the trendy movies, drink the beer, compromise my reputation? I don't think so. There's a reason I haven't done it already, and I'm not about to start.

The truth is, I'm glad I still have my innocence. And even though I know people snicker at me and totally, totally make fun of me behind my back... I'd rather that than be called a hypocrite. Because that's just it... I practice what I preach. Am I perfect? HA, certainly not. It's a process, I can tell you that. But I'm still a person of integrity, still a person of my word, and still following God. Because of my relationship with Him, I can't do those things. My conscience just won't let me.

Is it easy? Heck no. Who wants to be made fun of? Who wants to be alone a lot? Who wants to be known as the girl you can go to for answers on a test, but rarely anything else? Exactly.

It is hard sometimes. Ok, maybe more than sometimes.

But all things in life worth having are, I suppose.

I guess I just want to encourage those few out there like me that it is ok, and that you're not alone. People won't remember a ton about you, but they will remember how you live. And more importantly, God sees too and will reward you for making choices that please Him. He values your innocence! It's really a gift in disguise; when I get married someday- if I do- I won't have anything polluting my marriage. I won't have any baggage. I won't have any regrets! How awesome is that? Well, it is awesome, and completely worth paying the price for.

So for those of you out there making fun of me, I get it. I soooo get it, believe me I know I'm incredibly out of the loop of most of what's going on. But it's ok. I forgive you.

One day you'll understand.


  1. i love this post! don't change for anyone else girl!

    and i can vouch for the married-no baggage thing. it's so worth it to be able to get married without a past of regrets and things clouding or hurting your relationship.

    thanks for sharing :)

  2. Thanks for the post Hannah. This has encouraged me to stop my reckless behavior that has been going on FOR TOO LONG. It feels good to be sober again!